I’m just a smidge early in posting, but to be frank I’m done with how “meh” I’ve felt this season. I totally didn’t let myself go “0-60” in Aries season (I tried a few times, but was interrupted by being needed in my mom role) and was so excited for Taurus season so I could feel more at ease pausing and playing… excited until getting dragged into the “mud” many of us have collectively felt we’ve been drug into. So, with this “meh” energy overpowering me more than I expected, I have been trying hard to “wear the right clothes” (do ppl. in CO say that winter isn’t so bad when you “wear the right clothes”? Minnesotans say versions of this all the time to try to talk ourselves our of succumbing to the emotions of -20*F below zero) to pause and play more.
It’s pretty easy to play with kids, especially my sons. We have spent oodles of time in nature, exploring familiar creek/river beds for whatever new rocks winter snow melt washed up and even team sports (a new thing for my kids … an I still am a smidge shocked I’m allowing it while we’re still living through this pandemic). The sun shining more is glorious, still the Spring grey days can quickly make me “meh” again. So, on grey days, I paused a lot.
While not entirely unexpected, I was reminded of how being in the woods, outside, or having my hands in dirt truly does help me shut of the highlight real that happens in my mind and unwind even if for a short time. How is it that an herbalist can stray from this selfcare tool and kinda forget? (insert shrug emogi)
I started an art project by taking out one sheet of water color paper, selecting a photo and watercolors, but that’s it. Meh!
As far as manifesting and goals and dreams, is it okay to have just let that all sit? Can you say pause?
I’m realizing too that I may need to give it an ounce more of effort, which I hope to do now as my gig as teacher’s assistant with two distance learners is about to end.
In a nutshell, Liz has been all over the place, up and down and sideways.
The “ah-ha” really for me has come from being mindful of that. When I’m mindful and stop trying to control it all, the emotions and feelings come and then just go (I think I’m learning something from my meditation practice ;-)). Oh, and my gut is rarely wrong.
Thanks for reading this Liz journal entry!